BONES SEEBONES EPISODE GUIDE

SEASON ONE
1x09 The Man in the Fallout Shelter

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ICONS || SCREENCAPS || EPISODE SYNOPSIS/QUOTES:

BRENNAN: He shoots himself in the head and somehow his arm ends up across his chest? Bring the skeleton in, I’ll prove it wasn’t a suicide.
BOOTH: Merry Christmas, Bones.
[He whistles loudly.]
BOOTH: Come on, boys, bring it in.

BRENNAN: I thought you were at the party.
BOOTH: Ugh, it wasn’t a party, it was a Star Wars convention.

BOOTH: Anyone besides me worried that a guy dressed like Santa is in charge?

BOOTH: Bones, it’s after midnight. Hmm? Christmas Eve day. Both an eve and a day. It’s a Christmas miracle.
BRENNAN: Still enjoying your medication, I see.
BOOTH: Okay, so, what are we looking at?
BRENNAN: There are traces of lead and nickel in the dead guy’s osteological profile.
BOOTH: You don’t seem too upset about missing Christmas.
BRENNAN: Indications are that Christ, if he existed, was born in late spring and that the celebration of his birth was shifted to coincide with the pagan rite of the winter solstice so that early Christians weren’t persecuted.
BOOTH: Hmm. What are you, like, the Christmas killer?
BRENNAN: It’s the truth.
BOOTH: It sounds like the truth ‘cause it’s so rational, right? But, you know, the true truth is that you just- you hate Christmas, so you just spout out all these facts and you ruin it for everyone else.
BRENNAN: I ruin the true truth with facts?
BOOTH: Yeah, and you ruin it for the squint squad too by making them work on a case about a guy who’s been sealed up in a fallout shelter for fifty years.
BRENNAN: Well, how would you like me to spend my Christmas?
BOOTH: Christmas is the perfect time to reexamine your standing with, you know…
[He points upward.]
BRENNAN: A helicopter pilot?
BOOTH: Oh, right, right. You can’t measure the man upstairs in a beaker, so he can’t possibly exist.
BRENNAN: The man upstairs?
BOOTH: Mmm. You know, you don’t know if you’re sick, but you’re more than willing to take drugs just in case. It seems to me you could give the man upstairs the same benefit of the doubt that you do an invisible fungus.

BRENNAN: Anthropologically speaking, gifts are a way of asserting dominance in a group. Now imagine an entire holiday devoted to self-promotion, especially in this materialistic culture. How can you expect me to get behind that? How can you get behind it?
BOOTH: Wow, that’s deep. That’s a very deep pile of crap.
BRENNAN: You came to me with information this morning. A peace offering. But it was to make you feel better, not me. Proves my point.

BRENNAN: Well, considering how he ended up… Wait, you have a son?
BOOTH: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You’ve never mentioned that.
BOOTH: Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.

BOOTH: You find something?
BRENNAN: Two things that fit together.
BOOTH: Angela sent me. She says it’s Christmas.
BRENNAN: Okay.
BOOTH: You still think there’s more to learn about Lionel Little and Ivy Gillespie?
BRENNAN: There’s always more to learn.

BOOTH: Look, Bones, here’s the thing. What if a gift goes both ways? What’s wrong with that?

BRENNAN: Go. Go have Christmas. Wish your boy merry Christmas for me.
BOOTH: I’m at Wong Foo’s if you decide you want company.
BOOTH: Merry Christmas, Bones.

BOOTH (in a whisper): Can you say ‘Merry Christmas’?
PARKER (to Brennan): Merry Christmas!

CLIPS