BONES SEEBONES EPISODE GUIDE

SEASON ONE
1x01 Pilot

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ICONS || SCREENCAPS || EPISODE SYNOPSIS/QUOTES:

Agent: You were illegally transporting human remains ‘mam and you assaulted a Homeland Security agent.
Brennan: Look, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends but, next time you should identify yourself before attacking me. [Turning to the man at the door] What are you doing here?
Booth: [To the Agent] FBI. Special Agent Seeley Booth, Major Crime Investigation, D.C. Bones identifies bodies for us.
Brennan: Don’t call me Bones. And I do more than identify.
Booth: She also writes books.
Agent: Fine. She’s all yours.
Booth: Great. Let’s grab your skull and let’s vamoose.
Brennan: What! That’s it? She’s all yours? Why did you stop me?
Booth: Why does it matter? You’re free to go. Let’s just grab your bags, click, click, clang, clang…
Brennan: [To Booth] You set me up. [To Agent] You got a hold for questioning request from the FBI didn’t you?

Booth: Alright, listen. A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery down…
Brennan: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses, it’s… a cemetery.
Booth: Yeah, but this one is your type of corpse, it wasn’t in a casket.

Brennan: I’m going home. [Walking quickly away form Booth who is following]
Booth: Great! Could we… Look, could we just skip this part?
Brennan: I find you very condescending.
Booth: Me! I’m condescending. I’m not the one who’s got to mention that she’s got a Doctorate every, five, minutes.
Brennan: I am the one with the Doctorate.
Booth: Yeah, well you know what? I’m the one with the badge and the gun huh. You know, you’re not the only forensic anthropologist in town.
Brennan: [Laughing] Yes I am. The next nearest is in Montreal. Parlez-vous francais?
Booth: What’s it going to take?
Brennan: [Stopping and turning to face him] Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Not just lab work, everything.
Booth: What? Do you want me to spit in my hand? We’re Scully and Mulder.
Brennan: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: It’s an olive branch, just get back in the car.

Brennan: What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: Oh you know, it’s like pornography, you’ll know it when you see it.

Brennan: So what do you do first, confront the Senator?
Booth: Listen, Bones, I know…
Brennan: Don’t call me Bones!
Booth: I know we talked about you coming out in the field and all…
Brennan: Ughh.. You Rat Bastard!
Booth: A case this big and the Director is going to create a special investigation and if I line all my ducks up in a row I could maybe, maybe I can head it up.
Brennan: I don’t know what that means but I think I could be a duck.
Booth: You’re not a duck ok! On this one we stick to the book. Cops on the street, Squints in the lab.
Brennan: Well in that case, the Jeffersonian will be issuing a press release identifying the girl in the pond.
Booth: You do that, I’m a dead duck. What are you trying to do?
Brennan: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a Federal Agent?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don’t like it.
Brennan: I’m fairly certain you’re not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You’re in.

Brennan: Those people deserved the truth.
Booth: Their daughter was murdered, they deserve the kindness of a lie.
Brennan: There‘ll be an inquest report.
Booth: Which they won’t read because they don’t want to, especially because toward the end, Cleo and her parents weren’t even speaking.
Brennan: They told you that?
Booth: You know, getting information out of live people is a lot different than getting information out of a pile of bones, you have to offer up something of yourself first.
Bones: What exactly did you do in the military?
Booth: See? See what you did right there Bones? You asked a personal question without offering anything personal in return and since I’m not a skeleton, you get zilch. Sorry.

Booth: Come on Bones. You okay?
Brennan: Don’t be nice to me after I got you in trouble.
Booth: Your heart was in the right place.
Brennan: No, I’m not a heart person, you’re a heart person, I‘m a brain person. You vouched for me.
Booth: Forget it…
Brennan: No, I won’t. You think it was the Senator?
Booth: Look, the Senator has had sex with a dozen of these interns and he hasn’t killed any of them, our best bet is still the stalker.
Brennan: You want to check him out, we can, I don’t, what do you call it, roost him?
Booth: [Smirking] Rouse.
Brennan: Rouse. Well the murderer snatched a Bronze Star from Cleo’s neck so…
Booth: I’ve got twelve hours before this case is over and I’m off it so, let’s go rouse.

Booth: Thought I’d find you here. You know, you being a good shot and doing martial arts, it’s all your way of dealing. Who knows better than you how fragile life can be?
Brennan: Maybe an Army Ranger sniper who became an FBI homicide investigator?
Booth: Ah, you looked me up, huh?

Brennan: That’d be your gut telling you that, correct?
Booth: You know, homicides, they’re not solved by scientists. They’re solved by guys like me asking a thousand questions a thousand times, catching people telling lies every time. You’re great at what you do, Bones, but you don’t solve murders, cops do.
Brennan: Cleo Eller was killed on a cement floor sprinkled with diatomaceous earth. Traces of her blood will still be in that cement. One of us is wrong, maybe both of us. But if Bethlehem wasn’t a Senator, you’d be right there in his basement looking for that killing floor. You’re afraid of him. Your hypothesis is that squints don’t solve murders and cops do, prove it. Be a cop.

Booth: Told you it wasn’t the Senator.
Brennan: And I told you who it was, so we’re even.
Booth: Except we work on the same cases and you end up on the New York Times Best Sellers list.
Brennan: I didn’t know that!
Booth: Number Three, with a bullet.
Brennan: That’s good right!?! The New York Times with a bullet…
Booth: It means you’re rich, call your accountant.
Brennan: [Laughing] I don’t have an accountant.
Booth: Well get one.
Brennan: Okay, how does that work?
Booth: Ughh, you need to get out of the lab you know, watch TV, turn on the radio, anything! Pick up the phone and….

Booth: You know, if it weren’t for you, those people would never have known what happened to their daughter. That’s got to be worse than the truth.
Brennan: I know exactly how the Eller’s felt about Cleo. My parents disappeared when I was fifteen and nobody knows what happened to them.
Booth: You know, being a sniper I took, a lot of lives, What I’d like to do before I’m done is try and catch at least that many murderers.
Brennan: [Laughing] Please! You don’t think there’s some kind of cosmic balance sheet… [Catching herself with her foot in her mouth, she stops] I’d like to help you with that.

CLIPS